The Authenticity Shift
I have always loved the word authenticity. It embodies a sense of strength that comes with courage and the softness of vulnerability and humaneness. To be authentic means to be genuine, to be able to reveal our true selves and stand true to our values. Times of adversity often bring with them opportunities for our authentic selves to emerge. The true selves that we hide behind an office desks, successful projects, designer suits and other material and socially accepted definitions of success and wealth.
Covid has presented us with the perfect stage to grow. To grow from these difficult times, requires us to get to know ourselves, our values, our fears (the whole shabang!). We can thank these times for helping us show up as more authentic versions of ourselves.
Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” “Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance -Brene Brown
How is authenticity emerging in our current crisis?
Normalising our Fears- FEAR is a four-letter word. This pandemic has normalised our fears. We all have fears. We keep them well hidden as they are considered a sign of our weakness. Being able to express and acknowledge our fears without the burden of keeping up pretences is liberating and allows us to show up as our true selves. Covid has bubbled up a lot of our fears to the surface and in a way, made it okay for us to talk about our fears – the fear of unemployment, uncertainty, financial constraints, falling sick, loneliness, dying, or losing a loved one. I have to admit, I probably have experienced all of the fears described above. In talking about our own fears, we also inadvertently give permission to others to be vulnerable and express what they are concerned about.
Testing our Values- Times of crisis and change, test our personal values. Our values drive our behaviours (consciously or unconsciously). Our values determine our thoughts, feelings and behaviours. They determine how we show up as as parents, partners, friends, leaders for our teams, how we act as peers for our colleagues. In times of crisis, when we are in fear mode, our values will be based on safety, survival and need to keep our family and loved ones safe. This will drive behaviour and perhaps keep us in a downward spiral of anxiety. As we challenge ourselves to apply a growth mindset to this crisis, we begin to leverage our values of learning, growth, gratitude, connection, compassion, collaboration. While we continue to acknowledge our fear-based values, we can begin to break the negative cycle with our growth values. We might find ourselves constantly swinging between our fear-based values and our growth values - we are not alone in this! The ability to own both our fear based and our growth values helps us accept ourselves as a whole.
Dissolving Boundaries- We are socially connected in a physically isolated world. In the past few weeks, a number of times, in checking in with friends and colleagues, I have heard a narrative of how while being physically distant, this crisis is bringing us closer. We are beginning to get acquainted with people’s home-selves. Working from home has created a more intimate environment in some ways- we have been invited (virtually) into homes and of our co-workers, introduced to their pets and learnt more about their children and families. There has been a merging of our home lives and work lives- allowing us to get a fuller picture of people we work with every day. The different versions of ourselves we create for different contexts are beginning to dissolve creating the opportunity for our whole selves to emerge.
Discovering our Interconnectedness – Every individual and family has a covid story - how it has impacted our lives in and changed the course of many life decisions. In less than six weeks the virus has spread its tentacles across the planet and trespassed borders, religions and nations to make its impact felt. It has shown us how interconnected we are and how we are all in this together. We are not alone in our personal crisis as everyone has a story. It is also showing us the need to work together to get out of this. As individuals we are being asked to consider a larger whole when we act and the choices we make. Our problems and travails are similar in nature- the scale might be different. When we begin to see how similar we are to each other, we also begin to find acceptance and compassion. The stories of kindness, compassion and community spirit that are emerging are truly heartwarming.
